A priest once said in his homily that we can respond to difficult experiences in our lives in two ways. We can choose to be like an egg dropped in boiling water and be hardened by our experiences, or we can be like a potato dropped in boiling water and be softened by our experiences. For the longest time, I chose the former because I wanted to protect myself, and the result was that I missed out on meaningful human connection which I have now learned is what I thrive on. Now I see that the latter is what may be more difficult at first, and it is what makes us paradoxically stronger, more grounded, and more connected.
Many people may choose to dismiss experiences in the past saying that we should "just get over it" because it happened in the past. Have we not learned that the past is what shapes us to who we are in the present? Yes, it is important for us not to harp on it and allow it to be our stopping block for the future and what we are capable of, and it is also important not to dismiss our experiences, our fears and our emotions. Rather, we need to acknowledge them and approach them with respect, gently cradling them but not babying them, and exploring them to get to the deeper question of how we heal from these wounds in our lives. Dismissing someone is easy to do and can also be the most hurtful. It is important for us to create a narrative for ourselves and give language to our experiences and feelings so we can begin to work through them in a healthy and wholesome way. Yes, we were teenagers who did not know better... yes, we are different people now... and the wound still hurts and the memory still haunts. YES, AND. Not to make up excuses; just to acknowledge and hold up gently. Perhaps then, the ascension can happen, and we can move on with life without being chained to the post of the past.
