"The poor are your masters, and the more difficult they will be, the more unjust and insulting, the more love you must give them. It is for your love alone that the poor will forgive you the bread you give them." - St. Vincent de Paul.
It is easy to think of the one who gives as being the stronger. After all, that's the way society works, this society that is based on hierarchy and power. We think of ourselves as having matured out of the ancient caste system, but really, have we? Either way, I'm going to take a step away from the possible tangent into politics, and stay on topic. Strength.
I am all-too-familiar with this friend of mine, called Pride. Pride prevents me from allowing me to forgive myself for making a mistake; Pride insists I be a perfectionist to be a perfect human being. Pride turns me beet red at constructive criticism and creates in me the desire to defend myself; Pride promotes self-righteousness, and tempts me to be critical of others to shield my insecurities.
I try not to generalize, but I can be fairly confident in saying that most of us share this one common friend, whether we like him/her or not. Pride is a part of human nature, since it fits into the "rule" of self-preservation. So regardless of what ethnicity or age we are, what economic status we hold, what gender we are, or what our religious affiliation we belong to, we have it.
I think of how much I hate asking for help, and how much I struggle with receiving something from someone graciously, even if its something as simple as a birthday gift, or a compliment.To receive help is difficult. It requires me to swallow my pride in acknowledging that in that moment, for whatever reason, I am incapable of achieving my goal independently. In approaching another human being, I am admitting my human weakness, and confirming the necessity of interdependence. What strength that demands from our proud selves, brought up in this world that says "you get what you work for." As I walk into the office each morning, passing through the people who have been waiting in line, sometimes as early as 5am, I see a kind of strength that I may not necessarily possess.
We are all poor. I think to be poor is "to go without." We may not all be poor economically or financially, but we may be poor in our resources, certain abilities/skills we wish we had, limited pool of knowledge, social life, or maybe our spiritual life. Mother Teresa said, "We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty." I don't think a lonely millionaire is any happier or richer than a penniless beggar who has someone who loves him/her.
I received a lesson in humility this weekend, from one of our clients. Long story short, either the delivery of my statement was poor (which, I realize, is often the case, when I'm in the moment of something and my brain has to catch up with my mouth) and my choice of words inaccurately reflected what I meant to say, or the client misheard, but I ended up offending her. Anyway, the most important thing you need to take away from this is that she said "sometimes, when you're overly nice, you make us feel stupid," or something to that effect. I have always reminded myself of that, afraid to appear patronizing or anything like that. I felt like hitting myself in the head, and I was embarrassed and deeply disappointed with myself... to be honest, I still am. But I appreciated her frankness, and how direct and down-to-earth she was. No horsing around, no beating around the bush - she was genuine, honest, and straight-to-the-point. She also didn't hold a grudge - she ended up inviting us to take a casual and leisure walk with her to her next destination, and we parted ways with a friendly embrace.
The ability to help is given to us by those who allow us to help. They have the power, with which they grant us the grace to be able to reach out. It is a 2-way transaction, and no one's better than the other. However, the power of the person who asks for help comes too with humility, which is something the giver may not necessarily have.I see great strength in humility, and I am humbled by those who are strong enough to let themselves depend on others, and for those who possess the grace to forgive the hand that has reached out to them.
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