Don't eat yellow snow

Are human beings generally harsh? Some of us strive for excellence and perfection, and while that may motivate us to be the best person we can be, perhaps that can also unintentionally create in us a tendency to be hard-hearted, as we naturally fail time and again to achieve the ideals we've consciously or sub-consciously set for ourselves, and for others.

Yes, we are called to be perfect. But that perfection isn't defined in the sense of being inerrant and flawless. That perfection is in spite of all that. I struggle at times with grasping on to this concept wholly, but the perfection that I think we're called to is to be the best person we can be, with a full use, exercise and practice of our gifts, honing them to their full potential. The beautiful thing about this perfection is that it also makes room for our weaknesses, giving us room to grow - kinda like a pair of shoes bought a couple sizes too big for a growing child - and in recognizing our weaknesses, we meet each other where we're at, and allow the strengths of each other to neutralize the acidity of our weaknesses. Our weaknesses can be a gift and bring us together in community, if we allow them to.

To allow our weaknesses to become gifts, we have to first be humble. Humility in recognizing ourselves as limited beings, who may have ideals and goals for ourselves which have yet to be fulfilled. Humility in realizing that we will not be the best in everything (or anything, really), and being okay with that. Humility in remembering that we are human beings and our lives are meant to be a process, not a point of finality, regardless of how strong or weak we are in something.

We should give credit to our past, for making us who we are today. I have recently started to see more clearly how particular bits and pieces of my past has affected who I am presently, and in all honesty, its a gift. I mean, clarity's the more preferable option than murkiness, is it not? I often have the temptation to get frustrated with the struggles of my past and my present, allowing myself to succumb to feelings of helplessness, focused on the mindset that I need to deal with it on my own to prove to myself that I am strong. At the end of the day, however, it isn't strength that I possess... its merely pride; unhealthy, stubborn pride that proclaims I need no one, I am independent, and its a denial of my weaknesses; an attempt to hide them from the rest of the world with which I am in relationship with. True strength calls for me to trust, to be vulnerable, and to share, for I know I myself desire that from others who I am in relationship with.

So I pray for humility; the trust to be in relationship with others the same way I would like them to be with me; and to remember and accept that I, like everybody else, am a mere human being.

“There is a twilight zone in our hearts that we ourselves cannot see. Even when we know quite a lot about ourselves-our gifts and weaknesses, our ambitions and aspirations, our motives and our drives-large parts of ourselves remain in the shadow of consciousness. This is a very good thing. We will always remain partially hidden to ourselves. Other people, especially those who love us, can often see our twilight zones better than we ourselves can. The way we are seen and understood by others is different from the way we see and understand ourselves. We will never fully know the significance of our presence in the lives of our friends. That's a grace, a grace that calls us not only to humility, but to a deep trust in those who love us. It is the twilight zones of our hearts where true friendships are born.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen